Pathetic
by Prussian-Nightmares
Summary: Again, My OC Moscow. More angst and problems.. I really cant write happy things. This was suppose to be happy, but I..I just could do it, hahaha!


It was snow today. Russia didn't like snow. Today was supposed to be happy, why did it have to snow?  
Moscow stoop at the top step in front of the mansion, watching his brother leave. Silent tears rolled down his cheek and he gave a small wave as the car, as his brother, left. Leaving him alone in the snow.  
After standing outside for another minute or two, Moscow went back inside. Closing the door quietly behind him with his head down and leaned against the door* He stood in complete silence. No sound, only the clocks. Ukraine had been taken away from her boss to work again and Belarus had left because Russia left. Moscow was alone.  
He slid down the wall and broke down in tears. Louder one's thins time. Screaming sobs, and no one could hear him. There was no one to come give him a hug and tell him everything was going to be okay. No one to tell him to calm the fuck down. He could scream and throw things around all he wanted and no one would help or care.  
He hugged his knees to his chest and for a good hour or so, he sobbed.  
Soon it had gotten dark. Kit had run out of tears to shed for the night so he picked himself up and he stumbled to Russia's room. He picked up one of Russia's recently worn jackets and threw it over himself, then flopped down on Russia's still unmade bed and curled up into a ball. After a few seconds, he reached into his own pocket and took out a small black box, the music box, that Ivan had given him when he was small. He opened the box and listened to the quiet tune that played out. The song that Ivan would sing to him when he had a bad dream...all these memories, the routines they did in the morning and throughout the day...all lost. All gone and not coming back.

Soon Kit fell asleep and all the attempts of keeping Brother Russia and trying to convince him to stay, played in his head. All his failures, all the bad dreams and memories. 'Why couldn't he have stayed? Why did he have to go..?' Kit thought to himself. So many other questions floated in his mind. He had no answers.  
The scariest question to him was; How long would he last?

Day 1

Kit woke up to the brightness of the sun in his eyes. He was on his side, facing the window still. Russia's coat still on him, The music box was closed and was quiet, it sat beside him quietly. He remembered what had happened yesterday and he closed his eyes tight, trying to get it out of his mind, which was near impossible.  
Brother was gone.  
He sat up, keeping the coat close. It still smelt like Ivan...  
He stood up and headed to the kitchen to make coffee. The clocks tocked and ticked at him as he passed. He just glared at them coldly.  
Once the coffee was made he sat in Russia's seat at the table. "...Good Morning..." He spoke quietly to himself, taking a sip of the coffee out of the cup, Russia usually used. It was a white mug that said 'Keep calm and become one' on it. Peter had written it on there one morning. That was before He and It came into the picture. It was fitting...  
In his hand he twirled one of his daggers. He wondered how much blood would come out and how deep the cut would be if he were to cut himself. Then again. Whats the point of cutting yourself? It does nothing but mark up your body, cause more paranoia. It was nothing but a problem and it was a useless and stupid thing to do.  
Kit threw the dagger at a picture on the wall. It was a picture of England and russia and the child. Of course he aimed to hit England, not his brother. everything he amd his brother had done together. All those moments in the Hatter Mansion...All the word that were spoken..They felt like they ment nothing now. They just fell on the floor, hollow and dead.  
"well.."he started in a cracking voice. "..I suppose I should get ready for the day." Another moment passed. "...Fuck it..what day...?"  
He finished his coffee and stood up, walking to the bathroom and turned the shower on. He sat in the corner of the shower quietly, letting the water run over his body. The clocks kept ticking.  
Once he was out, he put his black shirt on and his pants and Russia's coat. Then he grabbed his book and sat on the couch, beginning to read. It was like any ordinary day, just more...Depressing and quiet. He couldnt focus. Not just on his book, but on everything. He was so distracted! So, he just saved his spot and threw the book down, and as he did he coughed. Not a normal cough. A more violent one. But it soon passed, leaving Kit as he tried to get his breathing under control. "Gahh..." He whined quietly.

Hours passed and he sat in the same spot, staring at the ground in silence. -Tick Tock. Tick Tock-  
His mind was blank. He thought of nothing. HE felt nothing at the moment. Empty.  
No sadness towards his brother who had left him. No Anger towards the Brit and the child for taking away what he loves most. No Hatred towards Peter for taking away his Prussian.  
Nothing. He just sat there.

Day 2

He slept on the couch this time. Still wearing Russia's coat. It smelt like him still..  
_'I find it kind of funny...I find it kind of sad..the dreams in which Im dying..are the best I've ever had..."_ He sang to himself quietly, remembering his dream. He sat up and felt colder. He looked down at himself and remembered that he had taken his shirt off before he had fallen asleep. "Oh..ew.." He sneered as he ran a hand down his ribs and the scars that decorated the skin. He was so small! ..Did he get smaller? Probably. But it didnt matter anymore. Kit sat again in silence. Everyday, every hour, every minute without his brother, he could feel his heart break a little more. And he wished and begged for his brother to come back through that door, just him and sestry. And they'd sit together and eat and tell stories. the sit together on the couch and fall asleep, like they had done years ago. Before the HetaOni mansion. That was a long time ago. To long.  
The ticking and tocking of those clocks seemed to get louder.  
Should he phone his Brother? No. He was probably too busy to deal his Kits Pathetic problems. It was only day 2, he was being very pathetic. Like always.  
Like Always. He would always run to his brother. If he had a nightmare, if he had accidently made Belarus angry or if he just felt bad. He never solved anything himself.  
"Pathetic. . .Stupid child. . . .Im so pathetic..." Tears formed in his eyes and he kept his head down.  
_Pathetic._


End file.
